


Tu rei na

by LG_Consor



Series: Hy vong mong manh [1]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-07 16:39:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LG_Consor/pseuds/LG_Consor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dragon doesn't need anything, the dragon only needs her queen back.</p><p>Fantasy AU in which hope is a fragile thing for a dragon who waits, but Korra doesn't have anything else.</p><p>4th Apr 2016: ON HIATUS because, y'know, life. Definitely not abandoned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lady, beautiful, of the sun

**Author's Note:**

> Never attempted writing in this style before but here goes =P

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To your king I your true queen

Dragons, by all means, should have gone extinct. There had been no sighting of them since the neighbouring Fire Nation nobles started the so-called "sport" of dragon hunting hundreds of years ago.

And yet countless of witness reports had been popping up in the past six months. People were demanding the monarchy to do something, anything to stop the terrorising dragon on the loose.

The number of deaths kept piling up.

Mako had just returned from his last scouting. Her trusted knight-commander had lost many men this time, no less than the last.

Rumours were that the dragon - this specific blue dragon who could breathe fire and create storms and earthquake with its growls - demanded sacrifices every time it came out of hiding.

Rumours were that this time the queen was its chosen.

Queen Asami was pacing in her office. This had to be stopped. The dragon had to be stopped. But her men had done all they could and not all were fortunate enough to return alive.

Maybe it's time to give herself up... for the sake of her people.

"But you're the Queen! Our duty is to protect you with our lives!" - Mako cried.

"Exactly. I am the Queen," Asami smiled reassuringly, "I have a duty to this country, to its people. You and your knights have done more than enough."

* * *

Mako had insisted her to bring his troop along for protection, at least until they reached the cave, but she refused. If the rumours were to be believed, this dragon could sense how many people approaching its lair.

Best not to have more unnecessary deaths.

It wasn't like Asami was a delicate flower anyway. She had learnt to defense herself ever since before she could learn to read. Her father had made sure his only heir was well protected at all time. Asami had even donned her favourite hunting gears with her trusty daggers and leather gloves and all.

It took her nearly a week to reach the dragon's cave.

Asami's first thought upon seeing the beast was that the dragon was... small, comparing to other dragons she'd read about in the history books. Maybe twelve foot high at most - but would still tower over her if she was to stand near it. Fortunately it was sleeping.

Maybe she could just plan a way to sneak around, kill it and then return home. Maybe she wouldn't need to die.

Before Asami's mind could finish cataloging all the details of the cave and the dragon to use them to her advantages, however, the dragon suddenly opened its eyes and sniffed around suspiciously. Then... wait! Is her mind playing a trick on her because did the dragon just smile? Could dragons even smile?

The dragon gave Asami no time to consider the implication of this before it suddenly turns into... a girl. An honest-to-god human girl, with no tail or wings in sight. In blue clothing that reminded Asami of the Water Tribe people. And promptly disappeared.

Asami eyes widened in surprise. Ok, her eyes were definitely playing a trick on her mind. One minute the dragon was right there, the next somehow turned into a girl looking no older than Asami herself, then apparently it was nowhere to be found now.

Asami's eyes quickly scanned the cave looking for any sight of the dragon - or the girl - but found none. Anxiety was creeping up onto her. This was not good. The dragon seemed to notice that she was here already. Asami didn't come here to die for nothing. The least she could wring out of this beast-that-somehow-had-just-turned-into-a-girl is a way to stop it from hurting her people.

She felt a hand came from behind her, reaching for her shoulder. Asami didn't hear the "hey" that followed before her instincts kicked in and she quickly grabbed the hand and threw her attacker over her shoulders. The attacker fell to the ground in a hard-sounding thud.

"Hey it's me, I wasn't trying to hurt you." - the attacker said, wincing while putting up both their hands in the surrender pose.

"Then what were you trying to do, sneaking up behind me like that?" Asami shot back.

"Not going to help me up then?" The dark-skinned girl - who didn't look much older than Asami herself, probably even a year or two younger - pouted, before standing up and began dusting her clothes with her hands.

 _"Wait - her attacker is the girl that dragon turned into!"_ Asami's adrenaline-adlled mind finally clicked.

"Who... No. What are you?" She demanded, crossing her arms defensively.

The girl looked at Asami quizzically "It's me. Korra. Don't you remember?"

"I'm quite certain I've never run into any dragon before in my life, let alone a dragon-human hybrid. I thought they were all supposed to have gone extinct."

"Well, first off, I'm not a dragon-human hybrid. I'm just human, like you," the girl (Korra, she had a name now) gave her a lop-sided smile that felt so familiar though Asami couldn't put her finger on why, before seemingly reaching out to her arm but stopped midway and instead nodding her head towards the large rocks near the opening of the cave, "and second, while you might not have met me in this life, you certainly did in one of your last. So, come and sit down with me?"

"No, wait a moment. What do you mean by that?" Asami asked, confused.

The girl motioned her to have a seat on one of the rocks before entering the cave and starting to rummage through the pile of... something Asami couldn't see. Her voice echoed from the cave walls "I mean what I said. I was born a human, to human parents and grew up as human as you could possibly be. And you met me once, five life times ago. Or maybe six. There was a time when I couldn't find you so I'm not sure."

Ok this was becoming stranger and stranger. "Sorry, you lost me. Are you saying what I think you're saying? About past lives are somehow real? And just so you know I don't turn into a dragon and go around killing people." 

Korra emerged from the cave with something clutched in her right hand. Her brow furrowed. "I don't kill people. I didn't kill those soldiers of yours. They were just..." Asami heard a sharp breath, "unfortunate. Anyway, here."

The girl went to sit opposite to Asami and opened her palm to show her a broken jade pendant with half of it gone. It was quite large, easily as large as the palm of her hand had it been whole. The jade had quite a beautiful shade of green and Asami absently noted the phoenix elegantly carved on one side of the pendant.

"It won't bite, you know. You can touch it if you want." Korra's eyes looked to Asami expectantly. Asami wasn't sure what all of this was supposed to do with her, but she took the offer anyway. It was strange how despite the rumours, Korra didn't feel dangerous. Quite the contrary, in fact. Asami had been wary of the dragon before, but in the girl's presence all she could feel was a familiar comfort that she couldn't quite name.

Or maybe there was really something wrong with her head.

"You didn't deny that you could turn into a dragon - or that that dragon was you."

The pendant was pleasing to the touch but Asami still handled it with care, lest she unknowingly damaged it further. In a cave full of dirt, fish bones and and dirty rags, the item in her hand didn't even have a speck of dust on it. It had obviously been well taken care of.

"I don't see any point in that. You are smart. Have always been," Korra leaned back, eyes looking up to the top of the cave's entrance, "And you'd find out in due time anyway."

 _Riiiiight,_ Asami had practically surrendered herself when she decided to come here in person, hadn't she? But that didn't tell her anything. She huffed. Which brought Korra's attention back to her.

"What are you, a giant shape-shifting stalker?" Asami looked straight into the other's eyes. "What do you want from me?"

Korra stared right back, and her gaze made Asami feel nervous, like those blue eyes could pierce through her soul and maybe see the stray thought of _how beautiful those eyes were_ that Asami was trying to ignore.

"I don't want anything. I just want my soulmate back."


	2. If we return to the beginning of our love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Would it still be as beautiful?

_What._

Asami stared at Korra like she'd grown another head.

Or maybe she did. For all Asami knew, Korra could have turned into a giant talking turnip right in front of her and that wouldn't be the least bit surprising after the stuff she'd pulled off earlier.

But what Korra talked about was a completely different matter.

There was just no way. Reincarnation and past lives were popular cliché for trashy romance novels (the kind which Asami would in a million years never admit to secretly enjoy - the Queen had to have some dignity to uphold, after all).

They were just the stuff of legends, of myths from a long time past when people were still waging wars simply because mages and non-mages apparently didn't like each other.

Korra couldn't have expected her to believe that, could she?

Asami put the pendant down in front of her. "You're joking, right?" Disbelief was written all over her face.

"No, I'm not. Maybe it hasn't come back to you yet, but I know you're her." Korra reached over for the pendant. "We made a promise, once. This," she started polishing it with her thumb, "you gave it to me on the day of our wedding."

Asami squinted her eyes at that. "No, that just sounds like a promise between you and someone else." She pointed out, clearly unconvinced. "Not me."

Korra lips parted, seemingly wanting to say something before closing them just as quick.

Asami kept looking at the tanned girl, half expecting her to keep talking about that ridiculous claim. The other half gulped, not sure if she didn't believe it or she just didn't want to.

Finally, Korra spoke: "You've seen my most precious treasure. Aren't you curious why its shape seems to match perfectly with your birthmark? The one on your right, just under your chest?"

Mortified, Asami suddenly felt her face flushed red. "How... How dare you speak to me in such vulgar tone? I'm the Queen." She gritted her teeth, looking anywhere but Korra' intense eyes, embarrassment laced with anger in her voice. It was a secret no one else knew except her mother - but she'd passed away since Asami was just a child. _No one else was supposed to know._

Korra just shrugged slightly, unfazed by her sudden outburst.

"You accused me of stalking you. I didn't. I've never peeked on you naked if that's what you're thinking."

_A beat._

"I just know because you're her."

Head hung low, Korra's voice became sombre as she continued: "You were killed trying to protect me. The blow that was meant for me hit you in that exact same spot." She made a gesture to Asami's abdomen.

All Asami's embarrassment went away at the pain in Korra's voice.

Asami didn't know what to say. As unbelievable as this sounded, and as much as she didn't want to believe it, she couldn't just dismiss all that she'd heard.

Asami did briefly consider the idea that the dragon was just pulling her legs, that this girl was just a trick, a hallucination created to fool her, but Korra's eyes said otherwise. They were just so... real. So real and so painful that Asami could almost believe the pain was her own.

(almost, because it would be absurd to believe that she was once betrothed to a murderous dragon.)

If there was any point in lying to her, Asami didn't know. Korra had her wish granted. Asami had finally come here per the dragon's demand. What else could Korra possibly want if this was all just a lie?

(Asami cursed her treacherous desire to reach over and lay a comfort hand on the other girl's clenched fists.)

She guessed the dragon might want to take her throne and the kingdom (as cliché as that sounded), but she had arrived at noon and the sky was getting darker now. If Korra wanted to kill her, Asami bet she could have done so the minute she noticed Asami's presence without ever changing into her human form. While she could handle herself well in a fight, Asami did come here with the intend to give herself up for the sake of her people. All she had with her were her daggers and some light hunting gears - hardly equipped for slaying dragons, even a dragon who only stood as tall as the ceiling in her bedchamber.

(She felt her ears suddenly became warm at the thought)

The cracking noises of dried leaves being stepped on startled her and pulled Asami out of her thoughts. Asami looked around to see Korra already got up and was inside the cave putting the pendant away, with her back turned to her.

"It's getting late. Could you start a fire while I'm going to get us something for dinner? I'll be back soon."

Asami absently nodded before she remembered Korra couldn't see her. "Um, sure."

Korra emerged from the cave, looking at anywhere but her. Asami noticed but didn't comment on it.

"I went collecting firewood yesterday so there should be plenty of it inside the cave. Anyway, um, would you prefer fish or just regular meat? There's not much I can offer out here but fruits and roast meat are always on the menu." The corners of Korra's mouth curved upward in a soft smile.

The sight tugged at Asami's heart. For a split second the familiarity of it blurred her mind and she spoke without really knowing why.

"I still have some food left from the journey, surely we could share? It probably won't last past tomorrow anyway." Asami offered. "I mean, I can eat anything, but you don't have to go look for food if you don't feel like it."

That made Korra briefly looked at her again before turning away.

"It's fine. I'm fine. I'll be back soon."

With that, Korra turned away, leaving Asami standing alone in front of the cave and wondering if she had been a little bit too friendly with an ( _allegedly_ , Varrick - her advisor would say) dangerous dragon she'd just met.

She kept her gaze steady on the small of Korra's back until the girl had completely disappeared into the woods, suppressing a sudden irrational urge to cry.

It was all very irrational. And stupid.

So Asami turned her mind to the task at hand. Better not think about something she had no explanation for and focus on what she had to do at the moment.

* * *

It took Asami another hour or so after she gave up trying to start the fire to realise that Korra had a small makeshift cupboard stood just next to the pile of firewood, half filled with dried fish and some fresh apples.

The wood was dry and absolutely flammable but for some reason it just refused to burn.

Asami had nothing but her mind to occupy herself with. 

Arms wrapped around her legs, Asami found her thoughts reeling back to what Korra had told her earlier.

Try as she might, Asami just couldn't bring herself to believe that it was all just an elaborate deception.

If there was any reason for Korra to asked for her specifically, only to not kill her when she arrived - she didn't know.

Well, the dragon - Korra might have wanted to take advantage of Asami herself, but... was there any point in telling her all those things when she had already been at the girl's mercy, without any practical mean to defend herself, unless there was at least some truth to them?

Korra had been gone for hours - the sky was getting a lot darker and Asami could barely make out the shape of the firepit she had built.

_Reincarnated love, huh?_

Asami remembered the stories she read when she was younger. The legend had been really popular hundreds of years ago, it appeared in almost every stories and songs written around that time. Most of the records and literature were destroyed during the Great War when the tension between mages and non-mages grew to its height, but the royal library was all but a pride of her family - if not her country.

Of course, that didn't mean the academic books on the subject survived. The songs and folktales remained, though. They disagreed on a lot of things, but they all talked about the presence of old souls and new ones, about love that transcended lifetimes and some kind of magic ritual that bound two willing souls together.

 _Magic._ Probably the reason why the legend was now nothing but just a fairy tale for children. Mages still existed - her knight-commander was one - but they were no longer ruling over everyone else simply because of what they were born with. The fact that non-mages like her and her father could now inherit the throne was proof of that.

It was difficult to imagine that, once so long ago, the very fact that someone might or might not be born without any magical abilities had been enough to spark a war that had lasted for nearly two decades. When the two sides finally agreed to sit down and negotiate, the cost had already been too great. It was a history lesson that the world had all agreed to make sure every child would know of - and Asami wasn't an exception. She had been groomed to be the heir to the throne, of course history would be her lifelong friend.

An heir - now Queen - who was now sitting alone in a cave waiting for a girl-who-could-turn-into-a-dragon to return.

Life was full of the unexpected.

Asami thought back to the food cupboard, which was definitely not empty, and wondered why Korra had decided to lie to her over such a small thing like that.

Maybe she should have asked to come with Korra earlier, if only to make sure that she wouldn't pull anything strange. Asami mentally smacked herself for being so careless around the girl whom she'd just met half a day ago and who was apparently the dragon that had been wrecking havocs around these parts of her country.

Or... Could it be that Korra had run into some kind of trouble? Asami didn't remember the girl taking with her any weapon. Sure, she could turn into a dragon - _was_ the dragon - but she had been in her human form when she left. Asami hadn't heard anything like the sound of wings flapping either.

(The tiny voice at the back of her mind kept whispering something else, though. Something like, _oh, Asami, you know how you're always left behind, one way or another._ )

((She was determined to ignore it.))

  


Growing worried as the sun almost completely disappeared over the horizon, Asami decided to get her horse and go search for Korra herself.

"Hey, I'm back."

And of course the girl would choose that exact moment to announce her return.

Her voice startled Asami and she turned around to see Korra with what looked like two hare carcasses in both her hands.

There was something strange about her, however, but Asami couldn't quite put her finger on what it might be. So she just stood there, hands still firmly on the horse's rein, staring at Korra's silhouette against the dim light from the cave' entrance.

The silence dragged on long enough to make her feel a bit awkward.

"Um, I hope you don't mind roast hares. I don't exactly have the best cooking utensils out here. The meals are often rather simple." Korra said as she noticed the fire pit Asami had built earlier. Without any comment on why she didn't start the fire, the girl proceeded to set up the hares for cooking.

Asami blinked. And blinked again.

She found her voice finally. "I thought..." she bit her lip, hesitated for a moment before continued, "I thought you had left."

Korra immediately stopped what she was doing and turned to her - and Asami thought, not for the first time, how painfully familiar the sight was.

She didn't say anything, however, instead turning her attention back to the hares.

"I'm sorry." Korra said, before flicking her wrist and the wood immediately caught fire.

The warm light filled the cave and Asami had to squint her eyes at the sudden brightness. Again, the feeling of something strange with Korra nagged at her. It wasn't until Korra asked her to come sit down that Asami realised what it was. She settled on the other side of the firepit, facing Korra.

"If you wanted to go and cut your hair in private, you could have just told me." She said, perhaps a bit annoyed, if not hurt. _I was worried._

Korra raised an eyebrow and looked at her, confused. "I didn't. It's been like this for a long t- Wait!" She stopped midway of turning over the hares, her eyebrows suddenly knitted together in a frown. "You remember that?"

It was Asami's turn to get confused. She blinked rapidly. "Remember what?"

"I used to have long hair. But that was centuries ago. When you... when she was still alive." Korra resumed cooking the meat, a soft smile donned her lips. "You... she always said I should let my hair down more often."

As if sensing what she wanted to ask, Korra continued "But living here, exiled in a cave, it's hard to constantly take care of it. So one day I just decided to chop it off."

"I like it. Suits you a lot." Asami blurted out before she could stop herself.

She really should stop feeding Korra's belief about her being the girl's reincarnated love.

Thankfully, Korra didn't say anything. She just keep looking at her with that gentle smile and nodded, "Thank you."

They ate their meal in silence, stealing glances as one thought the other wasn't looking.

The meat wasn't as delicious as when her chef prepared it, but it tasted good enough to keep Asami from thinking too hard about the fact that maybe, just maybe, she had once been in love with the dragon.

And wasn't that a scary thought?

But it wasn't the dragon who was sitting across from her, it was just a human girl. A human girl with beautiful dark skin and bright blue eyes who possessed such a painfully familiar smile that it tugged at her heart every time she saw the other curved her lips.

Their eyes locked, and Asami realised she must have been staring at Korra for a while, food forgotten in her hands.

 _Damn,_ Asami mentally cursed at herself and went back to paying attention to the half-eaten hare leg, methodically chewing.

She didn't need to look up to know that across from her, Korra just continued smiling, eyes soft and gentle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried, but I can't promise if the next chapters would be as long =( I'm just not good at writing long chapters.
> 
> The lyrics for this chapter's title & summary are from the song "Fa xian" (Realise), by Vicki Zhao/Zhao Wei.
> 
> P/S: Oh and the pendant isn't anything like the Water Tribe betrothal necklace. It's, um, based on an Eastern legend. Can't really say anything else at the moment though. I made a sketch of it but I was never an artist and it turned out really bad so, well =P ~


	3. Even though we're so close we could breathe the same air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My hands still could not touch you

_A long time ago, Korra fell in love with the lady of the sun, who shined just as brightly but wasn't as eternal._

_She remembered pale lips and cold hands, so unfitting a girl named after the morning light._

_(Her name was the same back then, too.)_

_(Life was sometimes funny that way.)_

_She remembered trembling hands trying to reach her face, fingers wiping the corners of her eyes._

_The smile had burnt, and each drop of tear had been searing hot against her skin._

_Heartbreaking was an understatement._

* * *

 

Korra rested her chin on her arms, unable to tear her eyes away from the girl sitting on the other side of the firepit.

The desire to touch, to kiss, to _just feel their hands clasped together like before_ was right there, eating at her - yet she was unable to do anything and it hurt, because the girl was... Asami was...

She was a different person, now.

_"Who... No. What are you?"_

It'd felt like a thousand knives stabbing at her heart at once, twisting deeper with each word spoken.

Asami didn't remember.

Her face was the same, even down to the colour of her eyes and the graceful way she held herself.

But she didn't recognise Korra.

Korra knew. Of course she had to know that there was no way Asami would remember just because Korra had spent almost a thousand years waiting for her.

It was just that... a part of her still foolishly dared to hope.

It wasn't wise of her. She'd known it wouldn't be. Still, knowing didn't make her feel any better.

So she'd done the only thing she could think of.

She'd run.

* * *

 

_"You lied, Asami. Said you'd find me, no matter what."_

_Korra's voice shook as her hand continued tracing the faded words on the stone, once so lovingly carved by her own hands._

_"I waited, you know. For so long." Her eyes closed as she drew in a sharp breath. "I've always waited."_

_Her thumb stopped at the name and she clenched her jaw, blinking away the emotions in her eyes she had been trying so hard to keep in check._

_She didn't mean to visit Asami's grave. Even if there was nothing beneath the gravestone - because the enemy hadn't even allowed her that much, hadn't even allowed Korra to have a body to mourn and she was left with nothing but their memories and a promise - it would still feel weird when the real and very much alive one was just right there, back at the cave waiting for her._

_(or so she hoped)_

_(or maybe not)_

_Korra didn't know if she wanted to find Asami there still when she returned._

_It would still hurt either way._

* * *

 

"What do you want from me, really?" Asami asked, again, after their dinner had finished but neither moved from their spot.

The fire danced between them, powerful and elegant at the same time. The heat distorted her vision, but it also allowed Korra to just think, to keep her eyes open without seeing anything else.

Green eyes became golden behind the warm light and despite the sight tugging at her heart _just so_ , Korra found comfort in the realisation that this was real. That Asami was really here, with her. Not just a vision in her dreams or a memory of a long time past, but... real. Living. Breathing. Talking to her as if they had been strangers.

The Asami of her memories would always love her, while the one from her dreams wouldn't even know Korra existed.

In a twisted way, it was comforting to be hurt.

So, again, she said the truth "I told you - nothing. Just you, back in my life. Nothing else."

Korra laid her heart bare with those simple words, hoping the other girl would understand. But apparently Asami wasn't satisfied with just that, judging from the way she remained silent, waiting for Korra to continue.

Or maybe years of living in solitude had done something to her way with words.

So Korra tried again. "I know you don't trust me. Can't trust the dragon - which you know is me. I... understand. But I'm telling the truth. I don't know how else to convince you but everything I've said is completely true."

"Even the part where you claimed to be innocent of my people's suffering?"

"That was..." Korra stammered, unsure of what to say. "Yes. No... I mean- I never intended to hurt anyone."

"You said you didn't kill them. Now you've just basically admitted otherwise. Why?" Asami frowned. "What are you trying to play at? First you claimed that I'm your soulmate, then you talked about having lived for centuries, and now this. Do you honestly expect me to believe all that?"

"I..."

"Why did you call me out here, anyway?" Asami dropped her head, hating the way Korra's sincere eyes seemed to bore through her. "I came because I thought in exchange you'd leave my people alone. Now you're saying their deaths have little to do with you." She lowered her voice until it was barely a whisper. "Why am I even here if this doesn't actually help?"

Because when her father died, he'd left behind a crippled nation to a completely unprepared Asami who was barely of legal age to be crowned. Because even when she had managed to get the treaty signed and ended the civil conflict, a year of trying to rebuild her nation was nowhere near enough for people to stop doubting, to stop thinking that she was too young, too naive and thus too unfit to rule. Because politics were a game of fine wine and sharp blades but her country was the only thing she had left of her father.

And because what Korra said might be true and she didn't want to think about that.

"I have to go back." Asami said finally, eyes still glued to the ground.

Those words sent chills down Korra's back. "No... Asami, please!" She felt her throat tightened and her words came out in short breaths. "Don't leave. You-- can't. Not now. Not when we could finally meet again. You--" Her voice was pleading now, because Asami just wouldn't look up, just wouldn't meet her eyes. "You promised to find me. To never leave me alone."

"Why do you keep insisting that I'm your soulmate when clearly I'm not?"

"Because you remember." Korra pointed out. "That my hair used to be long." _You gave me hope._

"That was..." _A coincidence_ , Asami wanted to say. She knew it wasn't, though. "I can't stay here playing fairy tales with you. My country needs me." She said instead.

Korra didn't know what else she could use to convince Asami. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself. Asami-- _this_ Asami saw her as a stranger. The girl wasn't going to trust Korra when she didn't remember anything about her past lives and, in her mind, had only known Korra for half a day at most.

She took another breath and decided to try something else.

"You said you came here because you thought I'd leave everyone else alone. Were you thinking that I wanted to imprison or kill you on the spot?"

Korra's sudden change in tone surprised her and Asami raised her head to stare at the other girl. "I-- yes. Why?"

"Then you must have left someone in charge, right?" Korra met her gaze halfway. "I know your position in your court is a bit fragile right now, but could you give me a chance to prove that what I'm saying is the truth?"

"And how are you going to do that?"

"I don't know. But I know you have a lot of questions, and I promise to answer every one of them." Korra bit her lip. "Just give me two weeks. I'll tell you the truth. Everything you want to know."

Asami found her resolve weakened every time she looked into Korra's eyes, so she didn't. "You keep saying I'm the reincarnation of your love. How do I know that you're not going to jump me in my sleep?"

She couldn't convince herself that Korra would be so unhonourable as to take advantage of her like that, so Asami hoped her voice sounded distrustful enough to make the girl give up.

It didn't work.

"I won't. I promise." Korra was determined. "I know you see me as a stranger and you can't trust me. Not yet. So how about this - if I ever as much as lay an inappropriate finger on you, the deal's off. You're free to go and I promise I'll never seek you out again. In this life or the next." She tried to smile but failed. "You'll be free from me forever."

"That's pretty extreme!" Asami was completely taken aback by the earnest in Korra's voice. "Earlier you just kept telling me you wanted nothing but me back in you life."

"I... It's taken me this long to meet you." Korra casted her eyes downward before bringing them up to meet hers in a pleading gaze. "I can't... I can't lose you again, Asami. I don't know if I'll be able to see you in your next life. This might as well be my only chance to have you back. I can't afford to let it go just like that."

Right. Korra had mentioned something along that line earlier, hadn't she? That this was _(supposedly)_ her sixth or seventh life since they'd first met. Asami found the concept of reincarnation difficult to wrap her mind around, but...

_Do you still love her that much, even after all this time?_

"Okay." Asami finally gave her answer.

It was amazing how just one simple word could make Korra's face light up that much, and Asami drowned herself in the way the corners of Korra's curved into that smile she didn't know she'd missed.

 _Two weeks,_ Asami told herself, _two weeks and it'll be all over._

Asami wasn't sure if it was a pang of disappointment she felt, but her yawn came at the right time to save her from thinking about that.

_Two weeks._

She'd manage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter reads really rush but I don't know how to fix it, sorry :/  
> I just wanted to convey how both of them feel about their situation and finally work out the deal.
> 
> I'm still learning, so I'd appreciate all feedback :-)
> 
> This chapter's title and summary are from the song "Myth of the Stars and Moon" (Xin Yue Shen Hua) by Jin Sha.


	4. An inch of light, an inch of my love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven reincarnations of husband and wife, just the reflections of a myth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the feedbacks and I'm sorry for the late update. Lunar New Year was a chaotic week and I got stuck at ideas :(
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this chapter =]

Korra had expected _(had hoped)_ that Asami still retained her curious nature when she proposed her deal.

She hadn't thought she'd spend the next three days waking up alone and wondering if everything that had happened had been just a dream her mind had conjured to toy with her.

It wouldn't be the first time she got her hopes up just for reality to squash them down without mercy.

But Asami always came back, if only just before bed time. She didn't ask Korra anything, except whether Korra would like to have some fruits she'd just picked or if there was any place nearby she could wash herself.

Their only greetings were confined to the simple goodnights, and it frustrated Korra that Asami kept avoiding her, not giving her any chance to do anything let alone to talk.

 

The first time she woke up to find Asami's bedroll empty, her first instinct was to follow Asami's distinct scent to the forest. Dragons did have amazing tracking skills, after all. Except, Asami might not appreciate that.

The young queen probably needed her space and Korra didn't want to come off as too creepy.

So instead, Korra spent her first day cleaning up the cave wherever she could and mentally preparing answers to Asami's possible questions. The firsts of which would be about herself as the dragon, no doubt.

Korra didn't lie. She didn't kill those people. It was just not the whole truth - and Korra guessed she just didn't want to admit to herself that their blood was on her hands, if only indirectly.

What would she tell Asami when the queen asked later?

Would Asami even believe her?

Asami was back before Korra could sort out her thoughts. They had their simple meals while Asami kept avoiding her eyes until it got too late and they went to bed.

Korra put out the fire with a simple flick of her wrist and she turned to face Asami's back, watching the girl's body raised and fell with each breath until sleep claimed her.

* * *

 

Asami dreamt of a little girl with two braids who wore a white dress complete with blue ribbons.

The girl mouthed something Asami couldn't hear but somehow she understood anyway. So she ran and didn't look back.

Small hands clasped her larger ones. _Over there_ , the voice in her head said - and before she could realise where they were, Asami made a leap across the river and landed safely on the other side.

The young girl jumped with her and Asami could swear their hands were still tightly held together, yet when she turned around her eyes caught a glimpse of blue and white still on the other side of the river.

 _You can't save her_ , the voice said again.

She could feel the child tightening her grip, trying to reassure her. Small legs were shaking, Asami noticed, so she leaned down to scoop the child up in her arms and continued to run. Blue eyes looked at her in sorrow and Asami almost heard the child's whispers of how sorry she was.

Asami could still feel a pair of blue eyes staring at her back with an almost identical expression.

Her leg tripped over something and without her arms to keep her balance, Asami fell to the ground. Her reflexes were quick enough to turn around however and she used her body to shield the child in her arms.

The pain was enough to wake her up with a start.

 

Despite her eyes were wide open, it took Asami some time before she finally remembered where she was.

The sun had barely risen and Asami looked to her right to see Korra still deep in her sleep. The girl had kept her promise and had kept a respectful distance between them.

Asami remembered their agreement - and indeed she did have a lot of things she wanted to ask Korra - but somehow a part of her still didn't want to learn anything from the dragon.

She was out of the cave before she even knew she wanted to avoid blue eyes staring at her back.

The birds started chirping and Asami let her feet wandered off on their own. Her right chest throbbed with each step - probably hurt a bit, Asami didn't know. She just knew that she had to get away from the cave, she had to clear her mind because looking at Korra's sleeping face had made her feel like something had been constricting her chest and making it harder to breathe.

The pain on her right side was nothing compared to that.

* * *

 

Asami didn't dream of anything the second night, but on the third, the child with two braids appeared again.

Asami thought she knew her name, but somehow she couldn't recall what it was.

They weren't running this time. Instead, they were inside her room, but the bed was a size too small and the clothes she were wearing felt rather odd against her skin.

There was a lute near her bed. The child looked at her - _It's yours_ \- and Asami realised rather belatedly that this room wasn't really hers. There were holes on the wooden walls and the foul smell certainly didn't belong to a royal palace.

Before Asami could asked the child where they were, Korra's loud groans woke her up.

She opened her eyes to see that Korra was still asleep, though her face clearly showed signs of pain, her brows furrowed deeply and sweats were beginning to cover her whole body.

Nightmare, definitely.

Asami considered shaking Korra awake before Korra whimpers became loud enough for her to realise it was her name Korra was repeating nonstop, seemingly pleading her not to die.

She withdrew her hand and returned to her bedroll, pretending not to notice how some time later Korra stopped tossing and turning, how she quietly got up and reached over to adjust Asami's blanket and tucked her in, warm and safe, while careful not to wake her because apparently Asami had forgotten to do so.

Asami lay awake for another hour until she could hear Korra's breathing became regular again - at which point she got up and left.

There were now a thousand more questions Asami wanted to ask Korra.

_Why are you so good to me?_

_Why must you be a dragon?_

_What happened to you?_

_Why would you think I could ever love you back?_

She wasn't brave enough to stay and ask.

* * *

 Asami was back - just around noon this time. Apparently the cave was the only place that offered shelter from the heavy rain around these parts and she really needed to warm herself up right now. The wind wasn't that strong but as the water had already seeped into her clothes a gust of it was enough to make her entire body shiver. Arms wrapped around herself, Asami made her way back to the cave.

Korra had already had the fire going and Asami, through her chattering teeths, still noticed that it was for her benefits more than anything. The inside of the cave was dry enough as it was on a high location and the howling winds barely got in. Despite that, Asami could still catch the surprised look in Korra's eyes when she said "You're back!" before hurriedly getting to her side to untangle her arms and help her get near the firepit to warm herself.

Asami felt a bit guilty for making the girl wait for her everyday like this.

"You need to take off your wet clothes before you catch a cold." Korra told her with a bit of hesitation in her voice.

Asami briefly recalled the way Korra looked at her a few days earlier when she'd accused Korra of wanting to take advantage of her. The girl had since then been nothing but proper and respectful. There was not really a reason for Asami to doubt Korra's words at the moment.

But it had also been only four days.

The rain stopped just as suddenly as it started and Asami was saved from having to give her answer. She instead opted to get her spare clothing from her sack. "It's okay. I'm going to the river. I need to wash off the mud on me anyway."

"You'll need warm water, or else you'd just get sick." Concern was evident in Korra's voice. "Let me come with you. I could cast a spell to warm the water up. It's a really basic spell so I won't feel a thing. And I won't look. I promise."

Asami paused for a moment. She could reject Korra's offer, but she indeed needed to wash in warm water right now (and she did sorely miss her bath chamber in her palace).

Besides, if Korra did break their deal, she would have a perfect reason to just leave.

So Asami agreed.

 

The walk to the river was thankfully short enough as the silence between them was becoming rather awkward. Korra had tried to make small chats at first but beyond that both didn't know what else to say.

Asami had never been to the river during the day before - had always chosen to come here when the sun had already set. There were animals resting on both sides of the river and Asami noticed there weren't any dangerous predators - just preys and lots of birds. The river seemed to run westward and while it was small, it was indeed long.

Korra set out to cast her spell and Asami absently noted that Korra's magic looked nothing like the magic she'd seen before. While she was a non-mage, she did know something about magic in general. Like how while all mages could control earth, fire and water to a certain degree depending on their natural talent, the colour of one's magic should correspond to the element in which one chose to specialise. Korra's magic had too many colours and that was probably the most curious sight Asami had ever witnessed. The ways Korra moved her arms and her fingers danced to the rhythm of the spell were elegant and mesmerising enough to remind Asami of a dance she once had with someone but she couldn't remember who.

"It's all done. You can take your bath now." Korra's voice woke her from her reverie and Asami tried her best not to look abashed at being caught staring. "In case you need something, I'll be just over there." Korra's thumb pointed to the large boulders behind them. "And be careful. The rocks around here become even more slippery after rain."

With that, Korra promtly walked away. Asami waited until the girl disappeared behind the boulders to shed her clothes. She stepped into the water and was blissfully aware of how comfortable the temperature was.

After she made sure her clothes had been washed to a satisfying degree and hung securely on the nearby tree branches, Asami took a deep breath and submerged her entire body to the water. She stayed like that for maybe a little longer than necessary before coming back up. Korra was nowhere in sight. Asami was tempted to swim downstream to see to where the river led - and the water was just _so_ warm and pleasant - but it would be quite rude to the girl who had been nothing but kind to her these past few days.

Just as Asami nearly got to the bank, her foot tripped over something slimy (and sticky, which felt quite gross against her skin). Before Asami knew it, her throat made a large yelp as she fell down hard on her back, her elbows already jerked backwards on instinct to support her from the fall. Asami felt more than heard the bone in her arm cracked but the sudden pain was probably too much because she didn't notice Korra suddenly materialised before her eyes.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Her voice was urgent and shaking.

Asami suddenly felt light-headed just as Korra noticed a large gash on her right foot. "I think... my arm's broken." She groaned as Korra touched both her arms then the back of her skull. Asami didn't remember hitting her head but she guessed it wouldn't hurt to check.

"Hold on. I'll take care of that later. Your foot needs more attention right now. I think the cut's on your artery. It's been bleeding a lot."

Korra let Asami rest her head on her left arm and she hovered her glowing right hand just above Asami's wound. Asami didn't know what Korra was doing except that her touch was cool and pleasant against her skin. Her mind was too dizzy from the blood loss to care about that, let alone the dim realisation that she was wearing nothing and her body was exposed for all the world to see - or in this case, it was just Korra and probably the animals nearby. Who were probably not interested in the sight. Except Korra, who was...

Who was she?

Asami thought she saw the birthmark on her right side glowed the same colour as Korra's body's before everything went to dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: The first time I had an accident that required minor surgery (it was a silly one) the first thing I thought of when I saw my injury was "Great! More refenrence materials"
> 
> The chapter title and summary are from the song "Heart of Palm" (Shou Zhang Xin) by Della Ding.
> 
> I'm still learning and feedbacks are always appreciated =]  
> (I know there are lots of mistakes in there somewhere.)


	5. How I wish to see through your eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How I wish to catch your gentle breath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last week's chapter was a week late so I'm putting this out earlier than usual :]  
> I apologise for the shorter update though.

Korra was no stranger to blood.

Or at least she thought she wasn't.

It had been part of her training as Aang's successor to accompany him to many of his healing sessions and watch him work. As both a healer and a fighter, she'd seen more than her fair share of fatal injuries - some of which even her magic couldn't fix. The sight of a mere flesh wound shouldn't scare her. Seeing someone's blood spurted out at an alarming rate shouldn't make her legs feel like giving up. She was a healer. She shouldn't be struggling to find her voice to assure Asami that it was going to be okay because... because-

But it was Asami and the thought escaped her. It was Asami and all Korra could see before her eyes was _Asami dying in her arms_ and her face was getting so pale _just like back then_ and damn it but...

Asami's foot kept bleeding and she had to do something, fast.

So Korra prayed to all the powers above that her magic was enough.

* * *

 Asami woke to the sound of firewood crackling several times before her mind could recognise the familiar patterns of the cave's ceiling.

Her sleep had been dreamless, that much she remembered. Everything else was just a blank. She didn't even recall going to bed.

Asami groaned as she tried to get up. Her whole body hurt and it took her a few more moments to realise that the pain only came from her right foot and elbow, which she noticed were both covered in bandages. The smell - which she had no doubt came from the greenish stuff underneath - was awful. It felt cool and slimy too, just like the thing that she'd tripped-

Oh right! She had tripped over something earlier, injured herself then promptly fainted. She remembered it now. _Great job, Asami!_

Korra came in with a wooden bowl full of water in her hand just as Asami noticed the bandages looked suspiciously like her jacket ripped into pieces. So much for trying to wash the mud off it, but she guessed it was either the jacket or her.

"I'm so glad you woke up." Korra sighed in relief as her face broke into a smile ( _that_ smile, which was being quite distracting). "You kept talking in your sleep so I thought you might have had an infection. Good thing your-- Wait!"

Korra rushed to Asami's side to support her as she tried to prop herself up - which proved to be a difficult task with her aching elbow. "Easy there. There's a crack in your bone. Nothing I can't take care of but I've spent what's left of my magic trying to stop the bleeding on your foot so that will have to wait."

"Th-" Asami coughed, unable to find her voice. "Thank you." She said finally but the words came out were hoarse.

Korra held the bowl to Asami's lips and she drank the water in large gulps, the soothing liquid felt pleasant as it travelled down her throat.

"Thank you." Asami repeated, voice clearer this time. "For the water. For treating my injuries. I don't know what might have happened if you weren't there with me."

Korra put down the empty bowl. "Think nothing of it. I'm just glad you're okay now."

"How long have I been out?"

"Not too long. Half a day at most. Which reminds me, I need to work on your injuries after we eat. My magic should have regenerated enough by then." Korra gestured to both Asami's foot and elbow. "The herbs can help relieve the pain but I'll feel better the sooner you're back to full health."

Asami's head was throbbing and it was hard for her to concentrate but she could still notice something was amiss here. "Did you just say that you can heal with magic? I thought that kind of magic was impossible?"

Korra looked at her with one raised brow, confused. "It's... not though? I mean, certainly I'm the only one so it's not as common as, say, flying. But it's not impossible. Isn't that common knowledge?"

"This is the first time I've ever heard of it, actually. Is that why your magic has so many colours?"

"No - though they're... related, in a way. I--"

Their conversation was interrupted as Asami's stomach let out a loud grumble.

"Sorry." Asami could practically feel her cheeks heat up with embarrassment and she briefly glanced away.

"That's all right. You were out for hours. I doubt you even had anything for lunch." Korra didn't laugh but it was clear she was trying to suppress the urge as her mouth looked too twitchy for her to look innocent. "The stew should be ready now. Just stay here and I'll get you a bowl, okay?"

 

Asami didn't know what went into the pot but, well, as long as it satisfied her taste buds she should not complain.

What she wanted to complain about now, though, was the way Korra kept looking at her. Like she was about to break at any moment.

"Would you please stop doing that?" Asami finally snapped.

"Stop... what?"

"Staring at me. Like I'd vanish if you didn't."

It wasn't really the gaze that made her uncomfortable, if she was being honest with herself. Rather, Asami was trying her best to forget the thought that it must have been Korra who had dressed her whilst she was unconscious. While she had no doubt Korra had remained entirely honourable through it all, it was still a pretty jarring thought.

Korra's eyes blinked a few times as if to regain focus. "Right. Sorry. I'm just... worried, is all."

She immediately felt guilty over seeing Korra's downcast expression. "No, it's not your fault. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just..." _Tired and confused a whole lot plus sore all over._ "My injuries aren't that serious - you said so yourself, didn't you?"

Asami had quite a good guess at what might be plaguing Korra's mind. She wasn't willing to voice it out loud, however. It was a sensitive subject and Asami was content to leave it unmentioned, untouched - for at least as long as she could help it.

"Right." Korra took a deep breath as if to calm herself and nodded. "I do need to replace the herbs though."

That, Asami let her, if only to see Korra's tense shoulders relax a little. The girl looked comfortable doing her task as she unwrapped the bandages and cleaned the herbs residue on Asamis' elbow with practised ease. The healing magic seeped into Asami's skin, through to her bone and she sighed at the pleasant feeling it brought. After Korra was done with the arm, she moved her attention to Asami's foot. Asami could see a large patch of dark red bruise on her foot where the cut had been.

"Was it bad?" Asami found herself asking. A cut that deep and at that place would limit her mobility, at least for the time being. Already it was hard for her to even wiggle her foot. She wasn't a particularly vain person but from the look of it, this would definitely leave a scar. Unless Korra's magic could heal even that.

"No, of course it's not. You only sprained your ankle. Don't cry, I know how to treat it."

Asami was taken aback by the high-pitched, childish voice and she had to squint her eyes at the small figure kneeling at her feet. "What?"

Suddenly she wasn't in the cave anymore. The smell of herbs and flowers were everywhere and her limbs felt too awkward for her to move.

The dark skinned child before her spoke again. "Master Aang taught me how to care for a sprained ankle. You should be proud." She puffed out her chest in pride. "You're going to be treated by the apprentice of two best physicians alive."

Asami found herself at a loss for words. Those blue eyes... Where had she seen them before?

She was still trying to figure out her confusion when Korra's voice brought her back to the moment. "Hey, you all right?"

Asami blinked. "Yeah." She was back in the cave again, with Korra at her feet. "Yeah. What... is it?"

"We were talking then you just suddenly zoned out when I pressed the herbs to your foot. Is something wrong?" Korra's voice was full of concern. "I tried to be as gentle as possible but if it hurts you should tell me right away."

Asami wasn't even sure what had just happened. "No. Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired. I think I need to sleep." She lied, then looked at both her foot and elbow. "Thank you."

"It's nothing." Korra said quietly with a smile, then helped Asami lie down and tucked her in before putting out the fire.

Despite her eyes closed, Asami still couldn't sleep for a while longer. The child she saw... The vision evoked a nostalgic feeling she didn't know how to describe. Like a memory from childhood, except that it felt much, much older than that.

The image of those childish blue eyes followed Asami into her sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogues are my weakness =_=
> 
> The chapter title and summary are from the song "Cherish" by Chris Lee/Li Yuchun


	6. I'm waiting, I can't do anything about it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter how tired I am, I won't leave  
> Hoping one day you will understand.

If Asami had a diary with her right now, the first thing she'd do would be chucking it into the fire.

Her mind was more than what she needed to keep track of the time anyway; and considering how the wood still refused to burn no matter how much she'd tried - which was mind boggling on its own - throwing a bunch of papers away hardly seemed like a bad choice if it was to keep the fire alive for a while longer.

The wind continued howling outside as Asami struggled with one arm to pull Korra's coat closer, shivering from the few breezes that managed to creep in. From where she was sitting, Asami could see the sky darkened with each passing moment as the earthy scent in the air confirmed the start of the rainy season.

She hoped Korra would be back soon. The girl knew more about this area than her, that was for sure - however, she still wagered getting caught in the rain would hardly be enjoyable for anyone.

It was probably a written rule of the universe that time must pass with an agonising slowness to torture those who waited.

The coat smelled slightly musty - like old clothes often were - and yet, Asami couldn't help but bury her nose deep in the crook of its collar as her mind picked up traces of the familiar scent hidden deep inside the fabric. It was faint, but still there nonetheless.

It hurt, the way the scent invaded her nose and took over her senses, stirring up pieces of memories that she couldn't quite catch. The more she tried, the more fuzzy those fragments became until they vanished.

Sometimes she wondered if it was indeed her behind those eyes.

Asami huffed a sigh. She was running away and she knew it was unfair, to both Korra and her. But at the same time... at the same time just the thought of tapping into those "memories" terrified her. It was hard to explain in words, and Asami wasn't even sure if she knew the reason herself.

"You used to do that a lot."

Startled, Asami looked up to see Korra standing just past the cave entrance, hair looking slightly damp as the first raindrops started to fall outside. The girl gave her a faint smile, which was both charming and a little bit sad. It made her heart skip a beat and Asami wanted to say something, an apology maybe (for what, Asami didn't know, but she was too distracted to ponder about that) - however the lump in her throat stopped her before she could form the words.

Instead, she settled for the lame "What?"

Korra set the bundle of freshly picked herbs aside. "That coat. You used to play with it whenever you needed to think. I always had to sew the buttons back."

"Oh." Asami turned the hem over to have a quick check. Her cheeks burnt when she realised that one button was indeed on the verge of falling off. "Sorry. I didn't mean... I won't do that again."

"No. Don't be. I like it actually. Gives me something to do." Korra assured her as she proceeded to stoke the fire up, then paused midway. "Or used to. Will be kind of a challenge now. They don't sell sewing supplies in the middle of nowhere. Some people are just convinced dragons don't have any need for fine clothes."

Blue eyes looked to her, then, and Asami cracked an amused smile at that. She rested her cheek on her knee, unable to tear her gaze away. "Can't you just use your magic to fix it?"

"You'd think, but no. I could set wards to protect things from wear and tear, but magic is useless once something's broken."

"But didn't I break my elbow?"

"That was different. Remember how I said my magic was rare even in my time? That's about the only exception I could think of."

There was a hint of pride in Korra's voice, making Asami wonder about the person she might have been - if everything she said was to be believed. "A shape shifter _and_ a healer, hm?" She trailed off. The girl was an enigma. Probably a dangerous one, but still fascinating nonetheless. "Next you're going to tell me you actually belong to that mythical Avatar race and I might still be inclined to believe it."

Korra chuckled in response as she fed another log into the fire. "So I'm a 'race' now, eh? Funny how word of mouth works through the years, don't you think?"

Asami raised her head, her brows knitted in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I'm the Avatar all right, but it's not a 'race'. More like a title, 'Leader of Mages', 'Keeper of Peace' and all that." She waved her hand in emphasis. "Honestly, who do people think ended the Great War? They keep inventing new words to describe me. Did you know I was a demigod just a few centuries ago? I certainly didn't."

Korra feigned a dramatic sigh which drew out a laugh from Asami. "Now you're just pulling my leg. I learnt history too, you know? That war was nearly a thousand years ago. You can't possibly be that old!"

"Oh? And how are you so sure?" Korra asked, but there was no question in her tone. A tint of mischievousness shone through her eyes, and Asami suddenly realised why her past life might have fallen for this person.

She caught herself in time and shook her head lightly. _Dangerous territory, that._

If Korra took it as an answer, she didn't show. So Asami just said, "You look my age. Possibly a year or two younger, even."

Korra hummed noncommittally, turning her attention back to the wooden mortar. "I could say the opposite, actually. How old are you then?"

"Nineteen. You know the political situation in my court yet you don't even know my age?" she asked, honestly surprised.

"Some stalker I am, right?" Korra grinned. "If we go by look alone I'm older than you. I don't think I've aged at all, actually. Been twenty four since ever."

Twenty-four? But... _how?_

Asami squinted her eyes under the flickering light, then, and took a more careful look at Korra. Her hair wasn't as long and the eyes were not as bright as before (though, Asami wasn't sure what 'before' meant anymore). The blue was older, and jaded.

Yes, she was different, but...

"You still don't look older than me."

Asami said and immediately wished she could take that back. The hand that was holding the pestle went still, and Korra stared at the half crushed herbs in the mortar like they held the answer to that question.

The sudden lack of human voices felt too cold against her skin. Asami listened to her own breath, half wanting to look away. She didn't.

Eventually, Korra resumed pounding at the mixture; although her voice was quieter, so much that Asami had to strain her ears to listen over the sound of the pouring rain outside. "She was one year older."

One guess as to who that was.

"You know," Korra continued, "You don't have to believe me just yet. I just..." She hesitated for a moment. "This is nice. I don't want this to stop." Her glance kept alternating between Asami and the space between them and Asami's heart sank at the half hopeful, half defeated tone in Korra's confession. The unspoken words underneath kept ringing in her ears. _Ask me something, anything, and I'll answer. Just don't go, please._

She glanced away, shame and guilt eating at her guts. Korra simply asked for a chance to explain herself, yet Asami never gave, despite the promise she had made earlier.

But there was fear, too. Fear of something even Asami herself didn't know. The feeling was like a ghost, haunting her every step as she tried to retrace the fragments of what might have been.

It was addictive, yet terrifying at the same time.

How would she explain that when she didn't even know what it was herself?

"I'm sorry." She said simply, but meant it.

Korra blinked a few times before giving her a reluctant nod, her face contoured into a difficult smile. "Not your fault. It's fine." _It wasn't._

Still better than nothing, though.

"So..." Asami tried again, "is being the Avatar comes with immortality?"

"No." Korra shrugged her shoulders. "That would be the curse's doing, I believe. Master Aang died, after all."

This whole questions and answers thing was starting to feel like trying to repair a dike during a flash flood. Fixing one hole just led to the breaching of several others.

Asami just hoped it wouldn't collapse.

"What is this curse about?" she asked.

"I don't really know. It's old magic, older than anything I've studied. It seems to... 'freeze' my time, so to speak. Like I said, I don't think I've aged at all since then. I don't even need to eat or drink to survive. No matter what I try, I still live." Korra smiled without humour.

"But you've been sharing meals with me." Then Asami realised. Korra never took more than a few bites out of her food, as if she was eating out of obligation rather than necessity. Was that an act of politeness, to not scare her away?

Korra stood up and moved next to Asami. "Time to change your herbs. This should be the last batch you need." She looked at her arm and began working. Her glowing hand hovered above Asami's elbow for a moment before she continued. "I don't need to do anything to survive, but I still feel hunger and thirst like a normal human would. I just can't die. If I starve myself I would just wake up several days later like nothing ever happened."

Asami didn't know what to say to that. Would the same apply to injuries? Would she-- Had she ever--?

Immortality, in hindsight, was never a blessing some always thought it to be. Before her was the living proof of that, if the tired eyes were anything to go by. "I'm... sorry to hear that."

"At least I got to meet you again, after all this time." Her eyes softened and Asami couldn't stop tracing the lines on her face. "I'd say it was worth the wait."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title and summary are from the song "Hoping to love you a little less" by Andrew [[ link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb57prCqOz0)] (I've never watched the film but the song is really touching)
> 
> This chapter is really hard to write. I don't even know if I'm doing it right. It seems that the more detailed the draft is the longer it takes me to write it :(
> 
> All feedbacks are extremely appreciated :]


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